We have had a wonder-
full Thanksgiving this weekend... full of gratitude, friends, family, laughs, food, and joy. Thursday was picture perfect in every way and the smiles are genuine as our hearts and the fun overflowed...
A glorious day with our "framily" (friends who are chosen family) enjoying amazing food, games, and fellowship. I love the purity of Thanksgiving. So many holidays have been changed, warped, and consumerized. Thanksgiving is one of the few that has kept most of its original meaning. Though some of that is changing recently as Black Friday beginning to infringe on Thursday, but overall we are spending time with family and friends, playing games together, feasting, and expressing our gratitude.
I love to reflect on the abundant gifts of family, friends, good health, our faith, freedom of religion, our armed forces, our great country, food, housing, employment, a vibrant church body, homeschooling, and the list goes on and on. I shared many of these
last Thanksgiving.
This year as I reflect, I am awestruck at the hand of God at so many points in our lives.
This past year has just flown by! When I think back at all that has happened it seems so overwhelming. Last year we were enjoying Julia's one year anniversary off treatment, thankful that she was cancer free, but struggling to find answers for her lingering health issues. So much has happened, so much has changed. We spent the early part of the year immersed in the medical world again as she endured tough hospitalizations, surgeries, and complications. We found ourselves struggling again to deal with a new normal. Our daily lives were consumed yet again. Our child was in pain and suffering- again. This time we were forced to be the ones hurting her as the medical care happened at home. The emotional burden on all of us was crushing at times. Still licking our wounds from the cancer world and dealing with Julia's January hospitalization and surgery trauma- we were now drowning in new problems.
But God so faithfully reached down to pull us out. Our dear friend Stacy from Camp Brenner ChildLife was with us every step of the way providing Julia the play and medical therapy she needed, providing all the support she needed in the hospital, and arranging for pet therapy to help in her recovery.
God provided.
As we learned to deal with Julia's new medical procedures at home, we struggled to find a balance between trips to the hospital and caring for her ourselves. Then we met another angel in our lives- Nurse Susan- who became Julia's home health nurse and our liaison with her medical team.
God provided.
As we learned more about handling her physical needs, the emotional ones continued to compound. Then one day I received an email from our dear friend Kate, who happens to be a counselor and social worker at KidsPath saying, "You need us." The understatement of the year! It was as if God himself asked us to climb up into His lap. In one amazing place our family's physical, emotional, and spiritual needs could be met. It would soon be a turning point as the kids would finally be able to explore their big feelings for the first time. And we would finally have the skills to help them cope. Just this month Julia has made so many breakthroughs and we are seeing tremendous strides as she is finally free from much of the daily fear, sadness, anger, and anxieties she was carrying. We are seeing more normal 5 year old behavior than ever before.
God provided.
The past several years I have struggled with an array of health problems including Graves disease and dysutonomia. This summer my symptoms continued to worsen and I struggled with daily living. Through a series of God-ordained events it was discovered that I had adrenal insufficiency, from compounding stress and a torn disc in my lower back. As frustrating as the new diagnoses were, it was such a relief to have answers. I was given an intricate supplement regimen and prescribed new medications and year of physical therapy. The healing has begun and the pain has subsided tremendously.
God provided.
When medical costs were mounting (for Julia and myself) and money was tight, funds came from places we would never have imagined. We trust our needs will always be met, but it is so humbling to see the way God meets them.
God provided.
This year has been a tough one for the Camp Brenner family. Just this summer nine children we know and love who battled cancer alongside Julia, earned their angel wings. It is something you cannot even fathom. Then it happens to someone you love. Walking your children through that experience breaks your heart into so many pieces. Having to do it over and over threatens to drown your very soul. We have cried. We have wailed. We have questioned. We have gotten angry. We have given answers to young hearts seeking to understand. We have remembered. We have loved. We have attempted to reassure. We have prayed and prayed and prayed. We have pointed them to the only real HOPE we know. And in the way that only God can, He has brought small moments of comfort. We have found reasons to remember with joy. We have seen God's hand in dying, losing, and honoring.
God provided.
We have learned a lot about the hard thankfuls... when healing does not happen on earth, when death does not come without suffering, when the longing of those left behind becomes a palpable ache, when the grueling treatment yields success only to succumb to cancer months later. This fall cancer seems to have swirled around us once again. As we emerged from the intense grief of the summer fall brought a new season of new activities. In August, one of our dear friends,
Joseph, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It is one thing to have close friends from the cancer world after your child is diagnosed, but when another child from your "normal" life is diagnosed, it cuts deep. His brain surgery went incredibly well with a healthy recovery. His radiation and chemo treatments thus far have had very minimal side effects and his joy and love of the Lord continues to shine brightly. In September, my
Uncle Jeff was put on hospice after being told his year long battle with thyroid cancer was nearing the end. Telling the kids it was time to say goodbye again was heart wrenching. Hearing all their questions of cancer and treatments and disease progression was humbling. With several years of experience in the cancer world they think like seasoned pros, not young children. In the weeks that would follow, Jeff passed away. In losing him we had the amazing opportunity to honor his life and what he meant to all of us. We were able to gather with most of our extended family one last time before he died to celebrate his grandson. Jeff lived his life with such joy and compassion and in the end he died with such grace and humility.
God provided.
A few weeks later, our dear friend
Vinny relapsed with his cancer in two new locations. The experimental radiation over the summer successfully killed the tumor in his lungs, but he now faced an entirely new battle. For an 8 year old who has battled cancer for over half his life and been on hospice twice already this all just feels like too much. I will never forget the helpless look in Carter's eyes as we told him the news. And then watching his face melt into tears at the thought of his little buddy suffering. In the past few weeks, Vinny has endured a new round of treatments. He and Carter have had several opportunities to play and the innocent laughter and smiles are absolutely priceless. Over the past weekend his family enjoyed a much needed beach getaway. Vinny felt great and he and his sister had the sibling fun they deserve.
God provided.
When so much about the cancer world seemed hopeless and bleak we have had so many opportunities to give back. Our foundation has hosted events at the hospital on many occasions when we could bring joy to those walking this road behind us. God has also shown us many ways to give back personally and as a family. It means so much to them to be able to serve the families they can relate to so well. We have volunteered with fundraising walks and helped bring the first CureSearch Walk to our area. I have also had the distinct privilege of speaking on numerous occasions- at church, at fundraising events, to our local newspaper, at MOPS, and others. It is a humbling privilege to be asked and such a powerful experience to see a glimpse of how God is using me and our story. In bringing Him glory, more of His work is being done.
God provided.
This past October Julia had her two year off treatment scans. It is with tremendous joy and gratitude that we can say she still shows No Evidence of Disease. It is a gift we will never feel worthy of and never take for granted. We have been granted another chance to breathe and months to live in the clear.
God provided.
Happy Thanksgiving! We have so much to be thankful for.
Doing our best at Thanks-living.
