Father Son Camping Trip

This weekend was the much anticipated annual Father/Son camping trip at our church.  As you can imagine this is right up Carter's alley.  He loves the camping, the playmates, the swimming, the hiking, the games, all of it.

As they loaded up the truck and headed out, he was talking a mile a minute about everything they were going to play and do.  Unfortunately it was also raining at the time.  They ended up having two brief rainstorms and rain throughout the night, but it didn't spoil the fun at all.  And the nice cool temperatures were a welcome gift. Happy to say, the rain cover on the tent works and their accommodations stayed nice and dry.

Where do you find the little boys at a campground? Around the fire with sticks, of course...

And when not there, then in the lake...

They had lots of fun swimming, playing capture the flag, and cooking.  After dinner it was time for s'mores and songs.

 

This has to be one of the best things about camping.  I miss these times at summer camp.  This video clip brings all those memories rushing back...

Untitled from Amber Scavo on Vimeo.

Now I just need to learn to play the guitar...

Then it was time to hit the hay.

After breakfast the next morning, they headed off into the woods for a hike...

 

their destination...

Taking a dip in the chilly mountain stream...

It was a great weekend for everyone involved.  Carter and Daddy returned smiling, happy, and exhausted. Such sweet memories...

Father-Son Camping Trip

Last weekend, after patiently waiting for two months, the time finally came for the boys big camping trip.  Daddy and Carter were both looking forward for some time to get away from it all.  Carter was so excited to camp, fish, hike, swim, and play.  He carefully packed all his gear, making sure to be prepared for anything.  The weekend forecast didn't show any rain, but unfortunately there were triple digit temperatures! Poor guys! It didn't seem to affect anyone's anticipation and excitement...

Unfortunately their accommodations did not include A/C...

It seems that no matter how hot it is the fascination of a campfire never fades...

A great way to cope with the heat...

Casting his new fishing rod...

Cooling off in the lake...

A quick game of football...

Little Braden was wiped out...

The big boys were still going strong, soaring to new heights...

Followed by a sunset game of kickball...

After a night of profuse sweating and some sleeping, they headed out for a hike..

Topped off with the sweet reward of a mountain stream waterfall...

Now that's refreshing!

Father/Daughter Camping Trip

The last weekend in June, Daddy and Julia headed off for our church's annual camping trip for all the daddies and daughters.  She was so excited and has been looking forward to it for weeks.  She's never camped before, except for in our living room :)  She and Carter have been begging to go for quite a while now.  But you have to realize their idea of camping comes from NickJr and picture books.  We had a realistic conversation with them about the differences between the woods and home.  They both signed on.  We decided the church sponsored event with all her little friends was a great place to start.  Not to mention they do all the cooking for you :)  So the ladies were up first.

The morning they left, Julia was downright giddy! Such a happy pair...

I can't say it wasn't a little hard to send them off.  Julia has been my constant companion for the past 15 months and I can't say I don't feel a small hole when she's away.  But at the same time I am overjoyed that she is happy and healthy and able to participate in life again.  It is all so healing for her soul and encourages her independence again.

It was a nice break to spend some downtime hanging out with just Carter.  Those of you that know him can probably guess what that looked like.  We stayed in our pj's until the afternoon.  We watched documentaries on the Military Channel like Battle Rats: Iwo Jima. I have to say it was all very intriguing.  They really do a great job with these shows and more importantly Carter is learning what honor, duty, and sacrifice truly mean.  It is easy for little boys to be attracted to battle, weapons, and vehicles; but he is really getting the bigger picture. We played Battleship and LIFE. We organized our military gear.  We read books about sea warfare, naval history, military helicopters, etc. We ate random snacks.  And we finished off the day with swimming, friends, and yummy Mexican food. We had a really good time.

Off in the woods, they were setting up camp.  Julia couldn't wait to sleep in a real tent...

The fun started as soon as they arrived at camp.  The girls found a huge fuzzy caterpillar to play with...

I love these faces.  All the wonder and curiosity of three little animal lovers...

Thankfully they had a beautiful, sunny weekend to enjoy all the fun activities, like boating...

and swimming in the lake.  I love these faces! These two are like peas in a pod and they were having a blast...

In the woods there are always piles of leaves just begging to be jumped in...

Here's a shot of all the girls- big and little- heading off to play.  Such a sweet sight...

Dinner was spaghetti, smores, and homemade ice cream.  No complaints from this hungry little camper...

Followed by a rousing game of duck-duck-goose...

Then it was time to hit the hay...

They had a wonderful time together and everyone came home smiling and full of stories and happy memories.  They're already looking forward to next year! 

Strawberry Season

Just when the weather gets warm and the excitement of summer grows, strawberry season arrives.  There's nothing quite like a fresh NC strawberry.  We took advantage of a free sunny afternoon to hop in the car with friends and pick some of our own at the farm around the corner.  The family is so friendly and makes the visit so much fun.  The tractor pulls the wagon out to the fields...

Where the kids are given a quick lesson and set free with their buckets.

After picking we fed the goats and calves.  Then enjoyed some homemade strawberry slushies and ice cream cones.  The perfect end to a warm, spring day.

And the perfect excuse to make one of these...

A Simple Walk

I took the kids for a walk the other night before dinner.  They love to pick flowers and there are so many beautiful colors to see right now...

I like when we have the chance to wander at their pace without a destination or time limit.  I was expecting a simple walk, but we got much more.

As we neared the main road, Carter wanted to pick up some of the litter on the grass.  We did not have a trash bag with us so I told him we would come back when we did.  As he passed the piles of discarded cigarettes and wrappers he commented that those were bad and made people sick.  They can even cause cancer.  This kid remembers everything he hears and sees.

We walked on a few more blocks and he looked up at me and said, "So mom what did we do to cause Julia's cancer?"

It stopped me in my tracks.  We talked about how pediatric cancer works and that nobody causes it.  God allows things like this to happen for a reason and for His glory.  We don't understand, but we trust God to take care of us.  He seemed satisfied with my answer and immediately launched into his 'Julia status update'.  He sounds like a doctor giving report on rounds.  He goes through her cancer diagnosis, her completed treatment, port removal, scan schedule, and most recent labs in the same way he would tell you about his baseball cards.  It still shakes me that this is his reality.  It also hit me just how much this is still weighing on his mind.  We've decided to go ahead with counseling for him to help him continue to process this experience.  I don't want there to be lingering questions or fears in his mind.  I know we are not trained in drawing that information out and as his parents it gets complicated.  We hope this will give him a chance to continue to work through it all.

As we continue to talk we always get to the end when he asks, what happens if it comes back.  I hate answering that question.  I don't have trouble with what to say, I just hate that I can't give them any definite reassurance.  We all want to protect our kids from the pain in this world.  In the pediatric cancer world that just isn't possible.  The child with the cancer will experience direct pain and suffering that can not be taken away or avoided.  The siblings face a different kind of pain through worry, change, upheaval, empathy, jealousy, and guilt.  And through it all their innocence is lost at a young age.  They learn about the realities of cancer, suffering, and death.  Other children we have walked this road with have relapsed and several have earned their angel wings.  This is our reality and we cannot protect them from it.  Their minds and hearts have had do deal with things no child should have to know.  I trust that God has a bigger plan and He is tenderly shaping them both for what He has planned for them...

But as I we rounded the corner and I watched them take off for the house, I couldn't help but wish for simpler times... the days when they talked of the dandelions clutched in their hands and not the realities of cancer.

Jesus Water

We've been having a really good week around here...

Julia is continuing to feel better every day.  The biggest change is that her taste has come back! Yippee! She said at lunch the other day, "Mommy, when I don't go to the hospital I can taste things again!" This is huge for us.  There is nothing more frustrating than a starving child who doesn't like the taste of food.  We have been able to eat meals as a family, at the table, and actually eat :) This is huge!

Her whining has dropped off substantially which tells me she feeling better overall.  It has made a big difference in everyone's moods.  It also helps our daily life because she feels up to playing with her brother.  I think he was really starting to feel like the odd man out- stuck in this house without playmates.  Their squabbles have been to a minimum and they are having fun pretending and playing.

We are still working on building up her endurance.  She doesn't have all her energy and coping mechanism's back.  She still looks forward to sleep.  When we put her to bed for naps or at night she usually says, "Can we skip books and songs and just go to bed?" Most nights she says, "Please put me to bed now."  It is slowly getting better.  We really notice it if we try to leave the house.  After about an hour she starts begging to be taken back home.  It's going to take a while I think.  For now I'm extremely grateful they are content because the isolation will continue for several more months.

Awana is still the only place we take her during the week.  She really loves it, has done a greeat job learning her verses, and she gets to see her friends even if it's at a distance. This is about the closest anyone gets and that's only the ones I know.

This week was big for her! Guess who wore a bow to Awana?!

We were finally able to find H1N1 shots.  We have all received seasonal flu shots, but we have had no luck finding the other.  Don't even get me started on the mishandled distribution.  We are now traveling three counties away to another health dept on Friday, but the kids both have appointments to receive the vaccine.  Hopefully we will have some locally when they need the booster in 28 days.  I am just thankful to be able to protect them.  It is a battle I would hate for Julia to have to fight right now.  Both kids have had the flu numerous times in past years and it was very hard on them with normal immune systems.

We have been loving the sunny fall weather and have been playing in the sandbox, on the swingset, planting bulbs, raking leaves, playing baseball and football, and going for walks.

With Julia feeling so much better we have all accepted out life at home much more easily.  I love the beauty and vibrancy of fall.  We've been trying to just soak it all in.

********************  

I was also blessed to have a night out this week- woohoo!  My girlfriends and I went to hear a speaker from our church, Angela Thomas.  She was such a treasure to listen to- funny, real, and passionate.  She was speaking about how God uses ordinary women to do extraordinary things.  She talked about the God-shaped hole within each one of us.  We all have a thirst and hunger to fill up that emptiness.  We can fill it with lots of different things, but nothing will ever make us full.  We can hold it out to others to fill, but there's no telling what they will drop in it.  The only place to fill our 'God cups' is under the fountain of Jesus.  When we let ourselves be full we will be able to function and interact with the world the way God designed us to.  If we stay under that fountain our 'Jesus water' will eventually overflow and start to splash on those around us.  What do you splash on the people your around? If you don't know ask your kids, husband, friends, or the cashier at the grocery store.

She also talked about her own self expectations.  Angela grew up in a stable, loving, Christian home where she accepted Christ growing up.  She thought things would be great.  She was ready to be a 'good little Jesus girl', follow all the guidelines, and wait to see how God would use her.  Things worked out for awhile- graduated college, married, four kids, went to seminary, working in ministry.  Then she got divorced.  Now what? What does God do with broken 'little Jesus girls'.  Now she was useless- she thought.  But God does amazing things with brokenness.  It brings us to a place of dependence, instead of independence.  Our pride and self-obsession has likely run out through the cracks. We are not sure what we're good for any more.  But God sees us as perfect, now matter how broken we are.

It really made me think about my own spiritual state.  I have experienced this in my own life first hand.  I too was a 'good little Jesus girl', but then my life got messy in my twenties.  I was a broken vessel unrecognizable to my current state.  But God reached out to me in those pits and I found a faith of my own in a way I had never experienced that carries me to this day.  I try at times to forget, but we all have baggage we carry with us.  It becomes a part of our personal ministry and our own testimony.  The more we try to hide our cracks, the less we point to Jesus and draw others to Him.

I think about our current situation.  I've said before we are all broken right now in different ways.  I know God is putting the pieces back together in His time and His way, but we will not be the same as we were before.  And there may still be cracks that remain for this life.  But after listening to Angela speak I really felt God was really showing me the beauty of brokenness.  Our world views broken as useless and discards anything broken or st least insists it be fixed.  But God's currency is the opposite of the world's.  We may be broken, but God is using us for His work.

I've wondered at times when I will start to feel less broken.  Cancer has changed all of us.  You notice it in the simplest of things.  Your friendships change.  Your ability to even socialize with others changes.  You cry easily especially at compassion, generosity, pain, and loss.  Our perspective of the world is different from this side of cancer, but I feel it has moved us all closer to God's perspective and to Him which is a place I want to remain.  I am less independent.  I am less 'self-driven'.  But I am more of everything God wants me to be.

I think about my broken glass and how easy it is for my Jesus water to run out know.  As long as I continue to let God fill me up my leaky, broken self will be splashing out Jesus everywhere I go.  So I'm not going to hold back those tears, those words, those hugs, or those thoughts because I am broken.

I am broken for Him and God thinks broken is beautiful.