Backyard Fun

We had a fun-filled day yesterday. In the morning we met Emily and the boys to walk. I finally got to use our new baby jogger (my early birthday present!) I've been pushing the kids in a sit n' stand, but they are way too heavy now and those wheels are not made for walking. We found a great deal online for a double jogger, on sale, free shipping, no tax, fully reclines, dual shades, one step folding, adjustable handle, swivel wheels, and it fits in stores (I don't put Julia in shopping carts for now.). It's paradise! It is one of the few currently on the market that comfortably fits preschoolers and adjusts for tall people. We all love it!! Walking is so much easier now. So until we can go back to the gym in the winter, this is my new fitness regimen.
Then we ran out to get gas, get Chloe's food, and pick up a new pool. How does one carry a large pool to the checkout? Like a turtle, of course. Yes, the kids were in there...

I always wondered why more people don't but the larger pool with the slide. Now I know- they can't get it in their car. This didn't cross my mind at all until I got out to the parking lot! This is our first year getting a hard-sided pool. I needed something that I could scrub daily to keep it clean for Julia to swim in.

So, time to get creative. I went back in and bought some rope and tied it to the top of the van. Now I know why they taught us to tie knots in Girl Scouts- for 'mommy moments' like this. It was quite a sight, but I got it on. The kids were amused with the whole process. Then I drove home with my arm out the window holding it down, so it didn't blow off. The things we do for our kids!
It was totally worth it. They played all afternoon- squealing, laughing, and splashing,

Then it was time for popsicles and a long nap for Julia
Carter and Lily moved on to the sprinkler...
It was a sunny summer afternoon around here. Julia is doing pretty well. Her side effects seem about the same this week. She has had some pain and has been sleeping more, but overall is handling it well.

Surprises Along the Way (Week 9)

We had a good trip to the hospital Monday. Julia was okay with going and didn't cry about the emla at all. We were excited to try out her new 'chemo shirt'. Annmarie found these tank tops at Target and Mimi cut the straps and added velcro closures, so at the hospital we only need to open the strap for treatment. They were a big hit. Ms. Diane said they would love to have those available to other patients. Kids who have been poked and prodded this much really hate having their clothes removed. So if you ever seen any shirts or sundresses that would work they would make great clinic donations. (We can modify them and add the velcro closures.)

While we were getting ready, Julia said, "Mommy, I need a bow today". Before this all started, that was part of our morning ritual- picking a bow from the ribbon hanger to match her outfit. Fortunately, Lara's bows work with little or no hair and Julia got to wear her bow :) She looked very sweet.

Ms. Betsy had a great project planned today. They made their own fishing games. Julia was quite skilled at catching these fish. It really impressed Nurse Diane. She said one of the things we needed to talk about was the effects on her fine motor skills- needless to say, none found- yay!
They are still watching her gait for the telltale 'chemo walk'. The meds can cause peripheral neuropathy and 'foot drop'. The common signs are walking on the toes and stumbling. This is really tough to identify in a 3 year old who stumbles and walks on their toes in a typical day. It can be an indicator of the meds being too strong, so we will continue to watch her and try to gently discourage the toe walking.

Her physical went well. Her side effects this week were as expected with the increase in her dosages last week. At this point her biggest trouble with vincristine is the aching (it causes jaw, back, and bone pain). She has been able to handle it so far, so we are going to wait on any more pain meds because of additional side effects. Sadly, single-kidney patients cannot take ibuprofen which would probably give her the most relief from the aches.

Ms. Diane left after her exam and came back in with her chemo tray. We were surprised to not see Ms. Karen. The nurses are now competing over who gets to give Julia her meds because she is so sweet and cooperative. Ms. Diane has found ways to assign Karen to other jobs, so that she can do it! We love them all and it is getting quite funny. I'm so proud of Julia for handling this all so well, but at the same time I still hate to see it all seem so normal to her. When I was putting her back in the car after the appointment, she said, 'Mommy I had lots of fun with you at the hospital today.' What kid says that after chemo?! God has filled her with cancer grace in an amazing way. She is truly amazing.

As we were wrapping up her appointment today they handed me her appointment card for next week and it had several additional items on it. It turns out next week she is scanned to check her progress. We had no idea this happened already. I know scans are now a part of her future indefinitely and she will be scanned at the end of chemo treatment, but today we found out there is also a scan at the end of the first 10 weeks. Because cancer cells are fast-growing and invasive, they need to check for any remaining tumors and also check to see if any cells spread to new locations in her body. Since she has the rare and aggressive form of Wilms' tumor (nephroblastoma)- focal anaplasia, they need to take extra precautions in her treatment.

It really shook me to hear this. Kind of like the feeling when you get knocked over in the ocean- you are on your feet again, but a little uneasy. I knew we would face this at some point, but didn't think it would be so soon in the process. So as you can imagine, our biggest prayer request now is for clear scans next week. The doctors on consulting about what kind of scans will be done. Most likely it will be a sedated CT scan, but we are waiting to hear from them. We pray that the right decision is made and that her scans are conclusive.

I also discovered a new organization while we were at the clinic today... Candlelighters Foundation:

Our mission is to provide information and awareness for children and adolescents with cancer and their families, to advocate for their needs, and to support research so every child survives and leads a long and healthy life.We are the largest publisher and distributor of free childhood cancer books in the country. We host the largest national childhood cancer awareness event each December holiday season. We represent childhood cancer on numerous cancer organizations and to members of Congress on Capitol Hill; and we support cutting edge research that leads to new and better treatments for our nation’s littlest cancer patients. As the largest childhood cancer grassroots organization in the country, we know first hand that "kids can't fight cancer alone!"

In addition to many other services, Candlelighters supplies many of the books available in the parents' resource library at the clinic. I found one today called Childhood Cancer: A Parent's Guide to Solid Tumor Cancer. (This includes neuroblastoma, nephroblastoma (Wilms' tumor), liver cancer, soft tissue sarcomas, bone sarcomas, and retinoblastoma.) I brought it home to look over and had a chance to read the first chapter before dinner. Two pages in and I was crying. It was exactly what we were living and feeling. It was written by two mothers who have been down this road with their own children. Their mission was to compile all the practical and medical information parents needed in one place as well as the resources and advice they would need. It is interspersed with the emotional experiences of over 100 parents, patients, and siblings. Every page rung so true. If you ever have the unfortunate experience of walking this road with your own child or someone you know, get them this book, (they are free!). I went to bed early last night and could not put it down. 465 pages later, I felt a mix of relief, empowerment, encouragement, sadness, and hope. Candleighters provides these guides for free and in my opinion it should be put in the hands of every family with cancer to read when they are ready. It is a part of the Patient-Center Guides series which includes many other conditions, too. They are wonderful.

This afternoon, Lara called to say she was bringing over a surprise for Julia. Lara has made all the bows Julia has ever worn and we are happy to say that hasn't changed. Today she brought over 3 new headband bows for her to wear. Thank you!! She loved them...

Julia has been doing well so far. She enjoyed playing with friends yesterday and today. It is truly the highlight of her days right now.

On a side note, I finally got back to the doctor to follow up on my CBC. When I was sick during Julia's radiation they found I had very low platelets in addition to a bad virus. (Ironically, page 3 of the Childhood Cancer book was the physical response of parents to a cancer diagnosis. Apparently this is very typical.) I am happy to report they are back to normal! Huge praise!! I am feeling good overall, but still adjusting to the thyroid replacement meds (from my thyroid removal for Graves' disease last November). My levels are in the low range of normal. I have an appointment on June 29th and will discuss with the doctor going up a little higher. It would really help to feel as normal as possible during all of this.

Thank you all for the continued love and support. The meals, prayers, emails, comments, babysitting, cards, gifts, and balloons we have received from all over the country are amazing and a loving testament to my children about the support of their Christian family. We love you guys!!

Summer Saturday and Sunday

It's been a great weekend at our house. The steady rain of the end of the week finally ended and we were left with clear, cool sunshine. It was truly perfect for being outside. The kids have fun exploring the plants and wildlife in the yard. The flowers and garden are doing great. The rain gave them all a boost (and I love free, easy water!). They love to watch the birds, frogs, and rabbits. We have 3 rabbits that spend a lot of time in our yard. When we deadhead the flowers we leave them in the grass as rabbit food. They are now the size of cats and not timid at all. We see them munching while we eat breakfast and dinner. They eat my daylillies every year- aargh, but I am happy to report they cannot get into the garden. :) They have however, discovered the plate of ripe bananas and peaches we leave out for the butterflies and help themselves every day.

I took Carter to be fitted for his tux on Saturday and am happy to report it went well. We have found he is the kind of kid that needs time to prepare for new situations. If we tell him about it several weeks before and then don't mention it again, he tends to come around to the idea. He needs time to mull things over and think it through. We used this apprioach last summer when we were flying to TX for a wedding and Carter announced, firmly, that he was not flying because he did not want to be that far off the ground. He says this after already being on 47 flights!! He did fly both legs with no problem. We are hoping this plan works again. Based on this weekend, I'm thinking it just might. They tried the jacket on him and he didn't resist :) and seemed to be okay with idea. Ironically he announced in the car last week that he never wants to fly higher than he can jump (apparently that thought is still simmering in that head of his).

Then we headed to the library. Between homeschooling and leisure reading we check out almost a 50-100 books a week. We are so lucky to have lots of great libraries in our county (and multiple cards). We have not been there since before Julia's diagnosis. It felt good to do something normal that we used to enjoy every week. I was hoping it would be pretty empty because of the beautiful weather outside and for the most part it was. It is so hard to be in public settings with her, especially where there are young children. The doctors encourage us to take her out- carefully. But her counts are so low I can't erase the warnings and 'what-ifs' from my mind. The mother hen in me just takes over. I set her up coloring at a table, but every time another child gets close, I just bristle. People must think I'm nuts.

Then we came home to enjoy some time in the backyard. The kids found a frog and happily followed him around the porch and up the wall. He was really cute and I'm happy to report they were gentle.

When Daddy got home it was time to mow. The days of rain had grown the grass to shin height and it was time. After the 'baseball field' was mowed, the kids and I started a game. Unless you've been around Carter, it's hard to grasp just how much this kid LOVES baseball. As I type this the Phillies and Dodgers are playing in the background, being recorded for tomorrow. He is all about baseball, all the time... Baseball Tonight, SportsCenter, the sports page, Wii MLB Power Pros, dice baseball, the BaseballGuys game, baseball cards, imaginary games in the living room, pickup games in the yard, batting practice at the local field, Hoppers games at the local stadium, baseball shirts, baseball hats, batting gloves, catcher's masks, sweat wrist bands, current lineups... this kid is serious.
Julia is doing great hitting pitched balls. We have not spent much time practicing with her because her brother is always in the spotlight, but apparently watching him and his games was enough. She whacks those balls and runs all the way around the bases. I must say we are thankful she enjoys something he loves so much. It really makes our lives easier.
I love the way her little balding head was glowing in the setting sun (She chews on things and grinds her teeth to ease the pain.).
Her hair is still growing, despite the chemo and the new hair does still have curl. We hope this is the case at the end of all this, but we'll have to wait and see what God has planned. She may lose all of that, too, we'll see. She has two weeks left of weekly chemo, then we move to every third week. All of her remaining doses from here on out are higher doses, stronger medications, and combination treatments. The intent of the two week breaks is to give her body time to recover between rounds. We have definitely seen the effects this past week with the stronger vincristine. She has had more pain, fatigue, jaw pain, and crying. She is handling it incredibly well. When she starts to fall apart; sleep or just being held will usually ease the pain. We enter into this remaining phase very prayerful and cautious. The heat of the battle is before us and we are preparing to defeat her 'Giant'.

Today we all went to church. The worship music was great. I love that Julia gets so excited and sings and dances along. It really touches my heart. We just kicked off our new summer series on the book of Proverbs and I'm eager for all we will be covering. Today he talked about the noisiness in our lives (business, pressures, stress, distractions, temptations, lies, worldliness) and our personal choice to tune our hearts to the world or the Truth. The world is noisy, constant, and deceptive. The good news is we are not alone in this world. "Wisdom is present...She shouts in the streets." (Prov 1:20-21) Do we choose to be street-smart or Spirit-attentive. You have to take sides and respond to something. Which do you choose? Those attuned to the noise love their naive and simple ways, they mock, and hate the truth. (Prov 1:22) But if we respond to God's Spirit, He will rebuke us and in turn pour out His heart and thoughts to us. "But he who listens to Me shall live securely And will be at ease from the fear of evil. (Prov 1:33)

We have walked this road in our own lives under great adversity lately and God has so proven His faithfulness in the Truth. Hearing it today was just another affirmation and encouragement to fill our hearts and daily lives with even more truths. Like Pastor Chris said, when you commit scripture to heart, you become a 'wireless Christian' with immediate access to God's Word even without the Bible in your hands. This is what we all need when the rubber meets the road.

We introduced the kids to 'Stomp' this weekend. Before kids, Billy and I used to love to take in the Best of Broadway series in our area. We have seen a huge variety of shows. We both love Stomp and Blast. Billy found the DVD recently and we put it in for the kids. They had a ball! It inspired them creatively, rythmically, musically, and more. I thought I would get tired of hearing the 'noise' in the house, but it is so musical, we all just love it. Here's an idea of what happens when they watch it. Seeing Julia jam is hysterical.

This afternoon we went to our local water park to pick up our passes. The doctor's encouraged us it was okay and they actually prefer swimming for theior chemo patients because of the chlorine in the water. However, keeping your distance from others is tough. We decided to go today while the crowds are still really light and daddy could come to help. She did get to go down a few slides and swim a little.
She was so excited to go it was definitely worth it. She probably won't be able to go much this summer, but we're happy she had fun. The afternoon was topped off with DippinDots and they went home very happy and very tired kids. They were both in bed asleep by 7:30pm- yipee :) Now I'm next...

Recipes...

Some of you know that I also started a recipe blog recently. It has become my online recipe book. The great thing is I can access it anywhere I have internet. No more toting the notecards and binders around. It's also so easy to tell people where to go to find them without having to send an email every time. (There's also a link in the sidebar on this blog.)

I tried two new ones today that I just had to share...

The first is Emily's Basil Shrimp with Feta. It is divine! Shana and I had the most amazing lunch today. It is easy, can be prepped ahead, healthy, delicious, perfect for a quick dinner or company. I must confess we were both licking our packets by the end wishing there was more. It's that good! (And shrimp is on VIC special this week, so you'll only have to spend $3 on the meat!)

Dean stopped by the other night with some fresh mahi mahi (like he actually caught it in the ocean and cleaned it himself). Now that's fresh! I had never cooked it before, so off to food network.com. We made Alton Brown's Nut Crusted Mahi. It was delicious. Billy is not a seafood eater and I have slowly brought him around fish by fish. This one has a great smooth texture and wonderful flavor! He even had seconds!

So check them out and if you have any of your own favorite recipes... you know those recipes you use over and over, pull out whenever you have company, or are always getting requests for- please leave them in the comments. I'd love to add them to the blog!

Helping Hands and Hearts

I've had many people ask me how they can help in a tangible way or where they can donate resources to help pediatric cancer. Here are a few ideas...

ARTS FOR LIFE is a nonprofit organization at 4 NC Children's Hospitals that provides art and music experiences to pediatric cancer and chronically ill patients. We have been privileged to be blessed by these amazing people. Colin Allured is 'the music man' at Brenners' who conducts music classes in the clinic as well as individual classes in each patient's room. We have had class with him twice and he is an amazing man, very talented, with a unique gift for working with kids. Betsy McLawhorn has become our smiling greeter every morning at the clinic. She is there daily with 3 new art projects every week, as well as a wealth of supplies to inspire the kids' creativity. She knows each one by name and knows all their likes and preferences. When Julia walks in and asks to paint, Betsy makes it happen in minutes. She works seamlessly with all the doctors and nurses so that the kids can complete their projects and be treated all at the same time. For some it is a distraction, for others a new opportunity, and for some children they are working on year long masterpieces.

If you feel led to donate, they have a link on their website. They also have a list of supplies on the site if you would like to give specifically. If you are an artistic, creative person who works well with kids, consider volunteering. The volunteers who brought art right to Julia's room after her surgery were such a blessing to all of us.

If you would like to do something specifically for the Brenners' oncology clinic, here are several ideas. Chemotherapy goes on, no matter the day- even on your birthday sometimes. Many of these kids celebrate several birthdays at Brenners'. On the week of their birthday, the kids are treated to a special visit to the birthday closet where they can choose any gift they would like. They make a really big deal of making the kids feel special. If you would like to buy a gift for the closet, we would be happy to deliver it for you. There are boys and girls from infant-18yrs, so pretty much anything goes.

There is also a toy box the kids get to choose from after they finish their daily chemo. It is stocked with kids' meal toys and dollar store items, but gets depleted pretty quickly. They also have a tub of hats, scarves, and headbands available. It is often empty because no one has donated anything. If you want to give any of these or for you crafty folks at there, make some, they would be much appreciated. Here's just one example...
Thank you so much Janelle for the sweet scarves for Julia. They are adorable!Julia's bow was a donated item from the hospital...
So many of these families have to carry the financial weight of cancer in addition to the emotional and physical. Having to buy these extras is really tough for many. We are one of the very few who have insurance that covers the majority of our expenses.

Just to give you an idea of what cancer costs...

• one day of chemo $2600
• one day of sedation $1200
• one week of radiation $26,000
• one surgery $52,000
  

The little things like a hat or a bow for your child, a birthday gift, or access to art and music become the big things that really make a difference. These are the things that make cancer bearable, make these families feel loved, and let these kids hold on to a piece of their childhood.

Another great cause is the Pedatric Cancer Research Foundation. They have been working since 1982 (and raised $22 million!) to increase the survival rates and help push research advances and protocols into the hands of patients that need it. They are making things happen and tangibly helping families in the midst of these battles. Childhood cancer in the early half of the 20th century was almost always fatal. Survival rates today are close to 80%. That is good news to the more than 12,000 children each year diagnosed with cancer.

Thank you all for your love and support for us and for others on this same road. May God bless you and use you in simple, yet amazing ways to do His work!

Pools, Princesses, Painting, and Peaches

Julia's been having quite a bit of pain since Tuesday afternoon. It's hard to determine exactly where. She has been whining and crying a lot and wanting to be held. She complains that her teeth and jaw hurt. Tylenol has been taking the edge of and helping her to cope. I hate seeing her so sad.

We've been hanging close to home and going with the flow. Tuesday was in the 90s and it seemed like a perfect first day for the pool. We are so blessed that are dear friends have a neighborhood pool close to our home. The greatest thing is that it always empty. This is the perfect situation for us because I can prevent her exposure to other children and just let her have fun. It hit me while we were there that summer has snuck in while we've been at the hospital. I love summer and can't believe it's really here.

The kids only took a few minutes to get back into the swing of swimming and they were off. They both love the water and were jumping off the side in no time...

Carter and Julia have been playing so well together. It is such a nice change from the sibling rivalry and squabbles of last summer and fall. They have found their groove with each other and can play almost anything. It's fun to see them go from baseball to kitchen to dollhouse to cars to tanks to babies. I love having one of each sex where everything is fair game and they are free to play and explore wherever their imaginations take them. Julia has spent a lot of time donning her princes gear...

Carter woke me at 7:20 the other morning saying he needed to paint. I held him off for about half an hour and then we were painting, before breakfast! We've left the easel up in the kitchen and the kids have made many masterpieces...

And one of my favorite parts of June... it's peach season. I LOVE peaches. I have been known to eat 5 a day in June. Julia loves them just as much. We both dove into these beauties as soon as we brought them home...

...and some produce of our own! We now harvest our own greens for salads.and there's yellow squash growing, too.

Chemo and Waffles (Week 8)

We were back at the hospital today, after I ended up driving in circles on the way there. I don't know what I was thinking, but apparently it wasn't about where I was going. Fortunately our 'out of the way' was also 'on the way' and we made it (not too late). Betsy had lots of fun art projects today. Julia made a butterfly to hang from her ceiling and a stand up house and tree.
We saw Ms. Diane (the chemo nurse guru, with like 12 initials after her name) for her physical today. Julia has had an excellent week and they are surprised how many of her side effects have eased as time goes on. Praise God for his grace in these trials and the prayers of so many. We are seeing the reality of God's protection despite our worldly understanding. My dear friend Lara said in an email after Julia's initial diagnosis that she prayed we would emerge from this fire and not be burned, not even smell like smoke (like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego) and Julia is a testament that that can happen!

We realized as we were talking today that Julia has crossed the threshold for her chemo med doses. I hated to bring it up, but on her treatment plan the doses are given for 1-3 yrs and 3yrs+. Julia has now crossed that line. They use an equation to compute dosing that has something to do with 'meters squared'. She and Dr. McLean 'pow-wowed' about it for awhile and decided she did indeed need a stronger dose. So today's meds went from 0.6 to 0.88. Ms. Diane said this is quite a jump (almost 50%) and was hoping for something incremental, but the doctor vetoed that. So our prayer is now that her body is prepared to handle these stronger doses. I felt I had to ask because I don't want to have any regrets or what-ifs when we reach the end of this process. We want to be confident that we did everything the best we knew how.

Ms. Diane was impressed with how well she does with the chemo process. She even helps hold all the vials and tubing in between steps. She told her she could pick a toy from the toy chest, but Julia said no thank you she just wanted a sticker. Diane told her she could have 3 and she said, "No, just one. Save the rest for the other kids." She has everyone of them wrapped around her finger.
Catching a quick bite to eat in the treatment room...

After two hours in the chemo clinic, we headed to radiation oncology for her follow up with Dr. McMullen. He was happy to see her and impressed with how well her body is handling everything. She never showed signs of skin burning and deterioration often seen with radiation. He said we need to watch her closely though because radiation causes 'cell suicide' which happens slowly and progressively over time. The side effects often occur much later. He also reiterated that she needs to have sunblock on that area at all times, everyday. We need to by stock in zinc oxide- anyone figured out how to grow it in the yard, yet?!

Then he reviewed her scan maps from her chart. They radiated her left flank. They avoided her right kidney. Her ovaries were definitely out of the field (good news!). The were able to radiate both halves of the spine to hopefully prevent any faulty growth and malalignment in the future. They were unable to tell for sure if they avoided all breast tissue- hard to determine in a toddler. She will begin preventative breast MRIs at age 25. He said we shouldn't need to see him again for now. They like to reduce the number of doctors seen whenever possible to not cause undue stress on the kids. If the oncologists see any concerns they will call him upstairs to consult. He was very thorough and easy to talk to. I really admire his approach and bedside manner. He is truly one of the best.

Here's the 'rock star look' Julia was sporting around the hospital today...

Today really made me think about what lies ahead for us and ultimately for her. Our preliminary information binder includes schedules in the back of biannual CT scans, MRIs, labs, etc. And as she gets older they add more screenings of her breasts, colon, etc. This never really ends.

We are in this weird place now. After the full-out crisis part ends, the real battle and work begins. This is the part no one has a name for and there are fuzzy expectations. Most days we feel we can handle the big things in life, its the little irritablities that leave us fumbling and overly emotional. I find myself caught off guard by my feelings at simple things and the daily stresses of life with preschoolers, a husband, and people in general. You hear people say that you have to take care of yourself first. But in reality, how do caregivers make regular time for themselves? You have the weight of the cancer you carry and all the little things of daily living, combined with the need to be ever-vigilant and attentive to the patient and their environment. In some ways living in the crisis mode is easier. This is so abstract. It all goes back to abiding in Christ and living in the moment with His strength. I do, but at times I just want to feel our old life again for just a day.

I miss our friends. I miss running around on errands and trips with the kids. I miss my brain without the thoughts of cancer. I miss a life that didn't revolve around chemo, appointments, temperatures, blood counts, and the next scan. I miss worrying at every ill feeling that I might be getting sick and become contagious. I miss my body without adrenalin and all the ways it changes your immune, circulatory, and digestive systems. I miss JuJu's curls and it makes me sad that I'm so used to her wispy baldness already. I miss going to the grocery store and planning meals. I miss life without germophobia. i miss our life before this isolation moved in. I miss simplicity. I miss spontanaiety.

I feel like I am mourning our past life, accepting our present state, and preparing myself for what comes after treatment. Right now we are battling this cancer. We are 8 weeks into 25 weeks of chemo which seems like a long time. But it will end. After September 28th we will enter the waiting period. After her treatment ends, we will wait 5 years to see if the cancer returns in her kidneys or has spread anywhere else. After 5 years, they will declare her cured and in remission. Five years is a long time.

As I mulled all this over today in the car on the ride home from the hospital, my brain was swirling with all these thoughts. Julia's DVD was over and we were almost home, so I turned on the radio. The song, Voice of Truth, by Casting Crowns was playing and I started to sing without thinking much about it. I love the way God uses songs and verses you've heard countless times before and opens your eyes and heart to a completely fresh meaning. That's what happened today with this song. As I sang the words from memory, God's truth sunk in deep...

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand...

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Cancer is the giant in our lives right now. We are facing an evil with a mind of its own. Seeing a child take on cancer is our modern day 'David and Goliath'. She doesn't need the world's armor, just the strength and protection of her God. When they changed her chemo dosage today, I hesitate for a moment about whether this was the right decision? should we have been using stronger doses sooner? what if? And hearing this song I said, no the stone was just the right size because God's timing is perfect and He is her Great Physician. The waves we are riding now and will for the coming years aren't so high when we soar on God's truth. I will choose to listen and believe. I will.

A huge praise...Matheson completed his chemo treatments today! YAY!!!! He is finished! This little David has fought his Giant. We pray that his battle is complete and he and his mom are able to return to their family soon. What a joyous homecoming that will be!

I rest in His Truth in a way I never have before in my life. We had a good night playing together. the kids have been getting along so well lately. I had time with just Carter while Julia napped and tonight after he was in bed, it was just us girls. (Billy is in PA working this week.) We played games, colored, cuddled, and of course ate waffles :) Sweet dreams JuJu, sleep well, and God bless...