Looking Back

It's so hard to believe just a year ago, Julia had major surgery.  It was by far one of the most trying days for all of us.  She had been NPO since the night before and they woke us at 6am to prep her for surgery at 8am.  The OR schedule had changed due to overnight cases and she wasn't actually taken back until 1:30pm.  Our time together was sweet and she was playful and happy.  We all doted on her, played games, and enjoyed the gift of time.  

They took her from us to go back to the OR.  She was peaceful and happy as ever.  Handing her over with so many unknowns was a feeling I will never forget.  As my heart and mind went into overdrive, I found myself in a constant state of prayer.  Our time in the waiting room seemed to last for days.  I had no real concept of time or place.  I knew I should eat and sleep and rest.  I just wanted to know she was okay.  

The OR nurse called us every few hours with progress reports.  It was actually one of her calls that confirmed the cancer, when she casually reported that her portacath was being installed.  It all became sickeningly real in an instant.  We all cried and prayed through our tears as we listened to David Crowder Band's Remedy CD.  We had such a sweet time of worship in the midst of our pain, knowing that God had all of this in His plan.  Everything is for His glory and He has already given us the Remedy for everything that happens in this world.

A few hours later, Dr. Pranikoff came out to take us back to see her.  It was so late at night, the pediatric recovery dept was closed so he wound us through a maze of halls to the adult hospital. 

I will never forget his tender words and understanding tone, mixed with giddy enthusiasm.  He could not emphasize enough how nasty, irregular, and unusual the tumor was when he removed it.  He could not believe how fortunate she was to have had it found by accident.  We told him God showed it to us on purpose.  He reminded us it likely saved her tremendous suffering and possibly her life.  Because in the Wilms' world, this is considered a really small tumor! I know that seems so crazy.  We recently learned that these tumors double in size about every 2 weeks, so you can only imagine where it was headed and the saving grace of God's divine intervention in Julia's life...

 

We felt so grateful and indebted to him.  I know God is the one who gives him the skill and ability, but you can't help but feel appreciation for the person who made it happen.  He removed and examined all the organs in her abdomen, removed the tumor without leaking any cancer cells, removed the left side of her urinary tract and lymph nodes, and avoided all her major arteries.  

When she went in for her port removal surgery this past February, I found myself in the same waiting room again.  This time I was alone with my thoughts.  As I sat down I found I couldn't sit in the same place, the feelings were too raw.  As I sat across from that couch I relived that day.

  March 27, 2009...

...and this year..... March 27, 2010....

Oh, the difference a year makes! At 1:30pm this year, we weren't waiting for a transport to the OR to see the surgeon, we were waiting for the helicopter to arrive to drop 10,000 Easter eggs! 

We were blessed with a beautiful sunny day.  The kids had a great time hunting, running, laughing, and playing.

God's grace is overwhelming and His goodness is humbling.  We view every day as a gift.  We have been given the precious gift of a new year.  Spring is such a time of excitement, renewal, and rebirth and we are feeling it down to our core...