Everything's Under Control

I went upstairs the other day and this is what I found in Carter's room....Apparently, the Marines have landed on the Island of Sodor. You can rest at ease they have everything under control.......

Well, speaking of control. On Friday I was reminded that I have very little.

I think as parents we have this illusion that we can control our kids behavior, especially when they're young and can be moved and removed at our whim. When in all truth we are influencing their behavior, but not controlling it. They choose the behavior, we only choose the consequences. This became blazingly obvious at Carter's 5 year well-check last Friday. He is very familiar with doctor's and what happens there. He knew he was getting a shot, but not too upset about it. He actually loves having his blood drawn and watching the blood go up the tube.

The nurse comes in to start the appointment with his hearing test and he refuses. She took the time to explain it to him, encourage him- no luck. Now note that this kid has had 3 ear surgeries. He's had a dozen hearing tests, no biggy, he thinks its like playing a game. Well not today. We gave him the stern, "You must cooperate." No luck. We made three trips to the bathroom for a talking to and loss of privileges and still nothing. (And you can't spank them with the doctor standing right outside the bathroom door.) He finally did do it, barely. And things just got worse. He refused to open his mouth, take deep breaths, touch his toes, lay on the table. By this point he is pretty much restricted from everything except eating and sleeping. Even the doctor was shocked and told him he was not getting a sticker or goody bag (everyone does). I was waiting for the floor to open up and just swallow me. We were at an absolute loss and never saw this coming. He has never acted this way. In fact I have never had a child act this way. I have taken dozens of children to over 200 appointments, of all kinds, and I have never had a child act this way. So what would you do?

It was a long drive home. I couldn't help but feel defeated and a failure as the tears rolled down my cheeks. What could I have done differently? It just drove home for me how little we can actually control.

The next morning Carter had another appointment for an eye recheck. This time, absolute angel. Did everything the doctor asked, used all his manners, and was as pleasant as could be. I couldn't believe it was the same kid less than 24 hours later.

So I guess we all have bad days sometimes, I sure have. We all just hope no one sees them, but sometimes it's bound to happen with our kids, and with ourselves.

Well, Monday is off to the dentist with both kids, so wish us luck :)