We Need a Plan

I know the truth in my head. If you don't know where you're going, how will you know when you get there? If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything. Every ship needs a course. Choose your paths wisely. etc, etc. It's all true. Parenting definitely falls into all these categories.

We've been going a long without too many parenting speed bumps (dangerous, right? here it comes). For the most part our parenting lives have been relatively easy. Our kids are generally compliant, agreeable, cooperative. Carter's biggest hurdle these days is talking back- he always has something to add. We're working on it though. Julia has literally just coasted from babyhood, to toddlerhood, to preschooler with hardly a tear or 'no'. She's famous for saying, 'okay mommy' (to the envy of many).

This week something changed. I swear I'm wearing a sign that says don't listen to me. Julia screams "NO!!!" even at the things she wants to do and carter is unphased by time out, spanking, discussions, and loss of privileges. What gives? It was getting almost comical. Even Billy said, I don't understand why they're doing this to you?

After a drawn out discussion with Carter over putting away the silverware with a joyful spirit, we got into to talking about work before play and rights and privileges. As I prayed about it later I remembered a documentary I had seen on the Dilley family who raised and homeschooled sextuplets. They had a 'Dilley Discipline' ladder on their kitchen wall with 10 steps- the top being full privileges, the bottom chores and thinking time only. Each step had pre-determined privileges and punishments determined by the family, such as friends over, TV, games, family outings, workbooks only, stay in your room, etc. That way when someone needed discipline, no discussion was needed, just move your peg (each child was a different color) X number of steps. And the parents don't have to remember who at which level at all times. It hit me that we are getting into this realm now. As we work on deciding what ours will look like I decided to go back to the teacher's staple- the traffic light (Thanks for the reminder Bekah!) where you simply move your clothespin. I told Carter about this the next morning and even though I'm just getting around to making it (3 days later) it has worked like a charm! He has not needed to move his (hypothetically speaking) in 3 days, though he has put Julia on yellow light twice :)

So, once again I've discovered what I know is true- our ship needs a course and our kids need a plan. They need to know we're watching all day everyday and what they say and do matters. Even if it takes a while to roll it out, just our intention has made things much sunnier around here.