Chemo Monday (Week 20)

Monday we headed back to Brenners- Carter in tow- expecting just a physical since her counts are so low. Her ANC was 360 last week and needs to be 750 to get chemo. She was fine with going today and didn't get upset.
We were very excited today to be taking a huge donation for the birthday closet. Our sweet homeschooling friend Jenna is an Usborne book consultant. God put it on her heart to help brighten the days of kids at the oncology clinic and she came up with the idea for a summer reading drive. She had 6 families of children read books for 2 weeks and raise pledges. Those children raised over $1600- amazing! We then chose kid kits from the Usborne site for boys and girls of all ages- dinosaurs, trains, jewelry, science, music, etc.- dozens of them!!
The kids were so happy to be the 'delivery men' of such an exciting gift. The nurses were thrilled to stock the new goodies :) Thank you to all who played a part in making it happen. you will put a smile on the face of a very deserving child :)

Ms. Michelle was there today to help with Arts for Life. I love that they include the siblings in everything they do. Often times the patients don't even get a chance to participate, but their siblings do which gives them a creative outlet, something fun to do, and other people in their situation to talk with. Everyone in the clinic goes out of their way to include siblings in the process of cancer treatment. They also have extensive sibling support groups and activities for older children. It really is an important part of the process.

They checked us in and did Julia's vitals (Carter's too- just to be sweet.). She has actually gained 2lbs and is now 32lbs! (Carter is holding at 40lbs, but has grown to 44 inches.) Then they did her physical, put in her port access, and drew labs. Here she is holding her 'tubie'- as everyone calls it- attached to her port access...
We waited for a little over an hour for her labs to come back. The kids had fun in the playroom playing board games and playdoh. Then the nurse came out to say her labs were back, but they were conferencing on the results. It turns out her ANC has made a huge jump- YAY! and has come up to 759! We were very excited to be out of the danger zone. However she is now only 9 pts from the line, so they had to decide whether to proceed or not. The decision was made to go ahead. She received dactinomycin and vincristine today.

As we were leaving Colin was setting up music class in the lobby. We love Colin and the gift he has for brightening these children's lives. Here's their impromptu band jammin away. It was really sweet to watch and he is so encouraging of each one of them.
If you have the chance, please say a prayer for the teenage boy in the baseball cap. I don't know his name, but God does. He is in the throws of chemo treatment right now and having horrible side effects- has barely any voice left, has to use a walker, continues to lose weight and is now down to 85lbs. He was the most gentle, loving, and generous kid. He touched my heart in the brief time we were with him and I know he could use some prayers.

It was a long day, but we are happy to be finished with another treatment. Julia came home and napped and was feeling good last night. Carter took her for a spin in the truck to make her happy. He's such a sweet brother...

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Today has been rough. Julia slept well last night, but woke up this morning throwing up. She threw up every medicine I tried to give her and finally kept down the second dose of zofran which helped. She hasn't wanted to eat for the past two days and is just feeling crummy. She has been crying and yelling most of the day. We were all very happy when she took a 4 hour nap this afternoon. I am happy to say she ate some noodles for dinner and is now outside playing with Daddy and Carter. Hopefully the worst is over for this round and she starts feeling better soon.

They will check her counts again next Thursday. She is scheduled to go back for chemo on September 14th and will also have an echo, chest xrays, and ultrasounds to see if the cancer has returned anywhere else and to check for heart damage from the doxirubicin. This is by far one of the hardest parts of all of this. It is the thing you can't get away from. It is here for life and we must find a way to live with it. It feels like a leash that holds us all down. And it never goes away.

I am so thankful we caught her cancer as early as we did, especially because it is the aggressive form. I am so thankful for a successful surgery. There are many other children whose tumors cannot be removed for a variety of reasons. I am so thankful for how well she is handling treatment.

But it is the lingering uncertainty that eats away bit by bit. Most of the time I don't even realize it. It usually hits in waves for a night and then subsides for several weeks.

The Wilms' community is rather small (thankfully) and there are many support networks for encouragement and information. These have been a huge blessing to us. But at the same time these children become a part of you- their families, their stories, their illness, their lives, their sweet faces. There are so many cases where the cancer returned a year later or three years later and the the ante is raised- more surgery, heavy chemo, radiation- and so many children lose their battles. I try not to dwell on the loss, but at the same time these children become a part of you. They are young children, just like mine and they should never be forgotten- just because its hard for us still here to remember. If it were my child, I wouldn't want people to look away, just because it hurts.

So please pray for clean scans next time and peace in our hearts as we learn to live in this cancer world we are forever a part of.