When Life and Death Meet

Our life lately has been a river of emotions.

Our friend Lily had an exciting summer.  After a wonderful year in kindergarten, a week at Camp Care with her big sister Anna, and a week at Camp Firefly with her family- recent scans found that her cancer was growing again.  Her days on earth were growing short.

She just celebrated her 7th birthday in July.  On Sunday, less than a month after taking this picture with her sister, Lily tiptoed into heaven. 

It is hard to believe that someone so full of spunk, joy, dance, and song can be gone.  Sadly, cancer makes its own rules.  On Tuesday we celebrated Lily's amazing life and all those she touched with her wisdom, joy, perspective, silliness, and strength.  At the end, we gave a standing ovation praising God for Lily's life.  A life too brief, by our worldly standards, but a life well-lived by God's. Please pray for Lily's family in the days and months ahead. 

And in the afternoon on Tuesday, I went to meet two brand new little ones and welcome them into this world.  Our friend Annmarie had her twin boys.  Ethan and Noah made their grand entrance at 34 weeks, both over 6 pounds and healthy. Everyone is doing well.  New life is such a tangible picture of God's miraculous creation. It is a powerful thing when someone so fresh from God, grabs your finger and intently stares into your face with such profound love and hope.  It is healing balm to a mourning soul.

And that evening we visited with some dear friends from our homeschool group.  After their 9 year old son's vomitting landed them in the pediatrician's office, it was discovered last Friday that Joseph had a brain tumor.  Saturday morning he was in the OR and they were hurled into the world of childhood cancer in an instant. It feels at times like cancer is coming at us from every direction. I look into the questioning faces of my children and I don't have the bigger answers they are looking for in this life. I often find myself wrestling with the same questions. We do not know why we are in this place and why so many others we love are being thrust into this world.  But we know God has called each of us in a unique way and we trust that He will go before us and equip our hearts and minds for the journey.  He has faithfully carried us and we trust He will do the very same for their family.

Carter was eager to visit with Joseph to talk and play and know that he was okay. We enjoyed a sweet visit and time of fellowship.  Our hearts ache that they are in this place, but we pray that even some of what we have experienced can help or comfort them.  Please pray for their family in coming days and weeks.  They are awaiting pathology reports and we pray for the best possible outcome and wisdom for the doctors deciding his plan.

I leave you with this video of Lily and Anna dancing.  It brings me so much joy to see her with her sister doing what she knew best- enjoying life, spreading that love, and dancing. It is heartbreaking to realize that she is no longer here.

It is so strange to live in this place where life and death mingle, sometimes in the same breath.  Our family conversations often turns to heaven, dying, cancer, and God. The false securities of this world are being stripped away for our kids at a very young age.  The veil between life and death is very thin in our world, at moments it's completely stripped away. At times it all feels so raw and exposed, but in the end we know God is refining us and drawing our hearts closer to His.  We are seeing the world more like He does. When in the course of a day you watch one friend return her child to God's arms, while another welcomes hers into this world from His hands- the only answer to it all in the end is Him.  The only peace is Him.  The only light on the road that lies ahead is His.