So now everyone feels healthy, but we can't resume our normal activities. I know Julia senses the transition because she keeps asking, "am I still sick?" Carter is back to asking daily where we are going and who he will see. The answer is the same as its been for awhile. "We're staying home and having fun together." It just isn't worth the physical, emotional, and financial impact of exposing Julia to germs. Whenever we have made an exception and attended an event or been around friends, Julia has landed in the hospital with a fever. So for the next year (with her port) this is just life for us. It will get better when the 'sick season' lifts.
And as if it weren't hard enough this has to be the year of the swine flu pandemic?! I try to look at it as a positive. If we have to stay in and be careful anyway, it may as well be dual purpose. We have had our seasonal flu shots, but not swine flu shots. The oncologist is imperative that we get them, but doesn't have them. Unfortunately with Julia none of us can get the flumist, so we begin the elusive quest. I've been making the phone rounds with all the doctors' offices and health departments- no luck. Our peds office has us on a list to get one if they ever come in, but it could be a while.
I don't think I thought much about this stage of the process- when she wasn't in treatment and wasn't feeling bad- but we still have to stay home. I've spent the week trying to refocus and change my mindset about all of it. Trying not to feel like a one-man band. It's tough living daily life without your friends. That is a lifeline for me and makes me a better person, mom, wife, and friend. It's by far one of the hardest things to live without. I've been trying to get more quiet time with God lately and letting Him fill me up and guide my decisions. I know the strength and wisdom we're after doesn't come from me. I want it to come from God and have real purpose and His insight.
I am still struggling with thyroid replacement meds since my thyroid removal last November. That ride this past year has been enough by itself. I am now at the point all the doctors are very happy with my levels, but I just don't feel myself and the fatigue is still bad. So now we are tweaking the timing of the medicine. I am hopeful this will work. There is also another medicine we can try, but the supply is severely limited right now, so we'll try this first.
We are trying to find a new schedule to our lives. Part of this involves going back to the drawing board. The boundaries, expectations, routines, and discipline in this house have been an adventure ride the past few months, to say the least. (We're at that point when we need Supernanny to walk in and post the new schedule on the wall.) So now we start finding a new way to move forward. When I think about it all it overwhelms me. So we are trying to make small steps every day. Some of my efforts have been successful, others went up in flames (only symbolically), but we press on. Here's some of the fun we've been having...
The little Marines have still been camping (in the playroom)...
And of course there's been baseball watching. GO PHILLIES! Carter is elated his team is doing so well again. I don't know what it is with him. The first year he watched MLB he rooted for the Red Sox and they won the World Series. Then his loyalties began to shift. He still likes the Red Sox, but became fascinated by the Phillies (our family's team) and they won the World Series and continue to dominate. he thinks this is the way it works now. I'm excited for him to see his favorite players play hard and do well, but hopefully he realizes it's not so easy and they won't always win. Julia's been getting in on the action, too. She wants to catch with the glove like Carter and tries so hard. After many attempts...
...she did it, twice :)
We've been trying to get out in the yard as much as we can. The weather has been gorgeous and I know winter will be here before we know it. But for now we are loving the sunshine and barefeet in the grass...
The kids love to jump in leaves, but our yard is a little lacking. We did make a little pile and they happily jumped in it over and over...
Carter had his last game of the season tonight. The weather was great and the kids played so well- both teams. They brought out the best in each other and really pushed each other to play better. Both coaches and both teams' parents were rooting for all the kids and their little faces just glowed. We are sad to see it end. After soccer/baseball/soccer, the winter season lacks a team sport for Carter.
Julia watched the game for awhile and had a snack then went off to wander. She ended up playing in the dirt pile behind us. The little princess in pink perched upon the dirt...
1 comment:
Amber, I have been sick this last week and am just now catching up on reading your blog. The "new normal" after chemo was the hardest to adjust to. It was when all of the emotions I had bottled up during her illness came rushing out full force. And it was when all of the inadequacies in my parenting during the chemo became glaringly obvious. But God is still God even in the midst of that trying time, just like He is in the midst of the chemo. I will keep you each in my prayers for a long time to come. I hope your thyroid issues get smoothed out soon. God bless.
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